Angels and Demons
by onewing
Summary: Kazuki's thoughts on Juubei and Toshiki. Yaoi, JuubeiKazukiToshiki pairing, one shot


Disclaimer and notes: Another short one shot from me, focusing on Kazuki's thoughts on Juubei and Toshiki. This is based post anime series.. As always, I own nothing. Hope you enjoy it. :)

Angels and Demons

Of my two lovers, I have no choice. I can't live without one or the other, though, I have lived once without one, then without both. I do not know how I survived then, but that does not matter. I must have my angel, and I must have my demon, or else I would probably die.

Juubei is my angel. He worships my very flesh, with his hands, and lips, and tongue. Gentle, always gentle, whether he takes or is taken. Strong yet soft, protective, yet loving, always. Long have I known him, back into the days when we were young and innocent. And though we are still young, despite not as young, we are far from innocent now.

There is too much blood between us, on us, staining our past, and remaining even in our future. It is something that cannot be erased, only accepted. My angel has killed for me, and I for him, and neither of us can regret it.

My demon is woven into the threads of blood that bind me and my angel together. He came later, yet he feels so close, so familiar, that it isn't impossible to believe that he has been there forever.

Toshiki, my demon, or in his words, my Hell Knight. He too worships my flesh in the dark of night, though his touch is claiming, possessive, and can almost be painful at times. He has drawn blood more then once, but I do not mind. A part of me wants to hurt, a part of me wants to feel the pain he gives so kindly.

Because, while Juubei treats me like a god, Toshiki reminds me that I am still human. I need both, to live. Feel too much like a god, and one becomes arrogant. Realize one is too human, and depression sets in. A balance is needed, and they give me that so freely, while all I can do is love them.

I know, Juubei swears I give him purpose in his life. I alone, is who he protects, who he lives for, who he would gladly die for. I know this well, and sometimes, it makes me fear. I don't ever want to lose him, I already nearly did once. I don't want him to sacrifice himself, but I cannot stop him from doing such things. He has always been my guardian, from the time we were young, till now, even though I do not need it.

To Toshiki... I've been a great many things, from the unobtainable goal when we first met, to his Battle Prince later. He also swears that I am the center of his life, and that he would die to protect me. He knows I don't want that, and ignores it, not out of duty like Juubei does, but because he wants to. No one, not even I, can tell him what to do, unless he wants to be told.

Both know how dangerous I am, both understand how destructive and deadly I can be. Both know, if given a fair fight, I could probably defeat them, one at a time, not together, of course. Yet they still insist upon protecting me... Because they love me so much...

Just as I would do for them. I can't live without them, after all.

Lying awake between them, I watch over them as they sleep. Juubei's arm is across my chest, his hand hanging behind Toshiki's shoulder. Toshiki's arm is slung across my hips, hand touching Juubei's side.

It's odd. Awake they are at each other's throats constantly. It is a mark of their opposite natures. Juubei is honor bound, trained from five hundred years of duty, while Toshiki is free spirited, with no code to hold him. Both are serious and terribly stubborn, which works further to their disadvantage, as they both can't see what the other does. They have only just begun to see what I see. Juubei was quicker about realizing my emotions, but he has known me longer. There is little I can hide from him. Toshiki... I had to give it to him, to show him that I love him as much as I love Juubei, that I need him as much as I need Juubei, that I had always been watching. I am only happy I could reclaim him.

Yet here, in our bed, they are both gentle and rough with each other, careful when I'm here though. Neither wants to hurt me in their battles for dominance, and in the end, it's usually I or our passions that state what will happen. Yet, their moods are different here, their private rules left to the dust as soon as they enter our bedroom. They don't fight here, at least, not as they do outside. Here it is plain that they love each other, as they love me.

Because they couldn't live without each other either. We are three, and yet one, we need each other. The angel and the demon need to balance each other out, between themselves, and within me.

That's how it should be.


End file.
